Canon consistency check on five newly drafted scenes of the third dra…

Report: Canon consistency check on scenes 80–84 (draft/book-01/scenes/).

1. Hard contradiction — date of the roster-striking (HARD)

Scene 83 unpublished redacted sentence: unpublished prose unpublished, dated "the twenty-fourth," i.e. Day 40/24 Harvestmonth).

redacted sentence: unpublished prose 019)."

These are two different days. Fix: either (a) change scene 83 unpublished's framing so the striking happened two days earlier (22nd) and is only being discussed/confirmed at the reckoning table on the 24th, or (b) amend timeline.md's Day 38 entry to move the striking to Day 40 and update the "nineteen becomes fifteen" citation accordingly. (a) is cheaper — it doesn't touch an accepted timeline entry.

2. Internal inconsistency — "the four dead names" (soft, worth a line edit)

Scene 82 unpublished redacted sentence: unpublished prose Scene 83 unpublished, same day, gives the actual four: Coule's brother (dead), Ranald Vosse (gone to the coast, not dead), a redacted cousin (dead), a redacted cousin (alive, rostered at redacted since Weedmonth). Canon's own phrase for this group is "four dead or gone" (notes/canon/world/institutions.md line 97). Edwin is elsewhere a precise-language character; having him write "the four dead names" when he was in the room an hour earlier hearing "gone" and "redacted" read out is a small crack. Fix: change "dead names" to "the four struck names" in scene 82 unpublished (two occurrences), leaving scene 83 unpublished's own docket ("dead. gone. dead. redacted.") as the accurate ledger.

3. Deferred questions / binding-list

• No violation found. "Somebody should have said their names" (scene 83 unpublished) leaves redacted's people unexplained on the page, as required — nobody in the room (redacted, Edwin, Peri) is shown understanding it, and redacted's "I'd rather not" is the whole answer. Compliant.
• Scene 81 unpublished's Edwin/redacted speed conversation matches the binding-list rule exactly: conversation only, no outcome, no level, "I stop" as the fear, "a fight won't let him." Note: draft/book-01/SCENES.md line 122 cites this beat as "(79)," but the actual conversation is in scene 81 unpublished — scene 79 unpublished ("Eight weeks") contains no such conversation. Stale cross-reference in SCENES.md, not a scene defect; worth fixing the citation number.
• No "six counties" claimed as Edwin's reach; no realm/king/crown named. Scene 82 unpublished's "The Charter is a grant" (dropping "royal") is, if anything, more conservative than the ch. 019 wording ("a royal grant") and doesn't conflict.
• The Holm Deep origin pile (redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose unpublished redacted sentence: unpublished prose

4. Day/date errors

All explicit dates check out against the given mapping: scene 80 unpublished "the twenty-third" = Day 39 ✓; scene 81 unpublished "the twenty-fourth" = Day 40 ✓; scene 82 unpublished "the twenty-fourth" = Day 40 ✓; scene 84 unpublished "the twenty-fifth" = Day 41 ✓. Only the roster-strike date (item 1 above) is wrong.

5. Sums/counts

• 406 killed (scene 82 unpublished) matches timeline Day 37 "406 killed and counted." ✓
• Day rate "1s 8d," Marsh's "3s a day and dinner," dues valuation, "1s 3d off the barley" all match institutions.md verbatim. ✓
• "Nineteen on the books... Fifteen... ten can be rostered" (scene 83 unpublished) matches institutions.md's pre-arc roster shape (nineteen names, four dead/gone, ten rosterable). ✓
• redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose unpublished) matches institutions.md exactly. ✓
• "Told twice... I did, once. redacted did the other" (scene 80 unpublished) and "told the girl four times" (scene 81 unpublished) match the established count of four disputes (scene 79 unpublished, already-accepted). ✓
• No arithmetic errors found elsewhere in the five scenes.

6. New facts established (not yet in canon — flag for backfill)

• redacted: the man redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose unpublished). Not previously stated; doesn't contradict redacted's established margin-watch role, but is a new biographical claim tying him into redacted party of thirteen.
• A second, unnamed man redacted drilled who "never got to stop stopping" and now clears warrens in daylight (scene 81 unpublished) — new minor character reference.
• redacted's age given precisely as twenty-six (scene 81 unpublished), narrowing the established "middle twenties."
• Second chamber described as "eighty feet under the fen" (scene 80 unpublished) — a specific depth figure not previously on record.
• redacted's rule that striking a roster name requires a second person to say it aloud, not just his own hand (scene 83 unpublished) — new institutional/procedural detail for the Charter's book-keeping.
• The finding's exact entered wording (scene 80 unpublished, "that a redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose
• Secondment negotiation take two hours, day-45 in scene 84 unpublished gives the full clause list verbatim in prose — this closely mirrors what's already in redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose

redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose unpublished draft/book-01/SCENES.md, and scenes 66–67, 79 for continuity cross-checks, plus the five scenes under review (draft/book-01/scenes/80-out-of-the-water.md unpublishedthrough84-seconded-not-resigned.md unpublished). Did not read notes/sealed/per instruction, and did not readcharacters/peri.mdorcharacters/edwin.md in full depth (time-boxed at low effort) — a follow-up pass on those two files, plus a sealed-file consistency check on scene 80 unpublished's channel details, would be worth doing before acceptance.