I'll start by reading the skill brief and all the listed files.

Now the remaining canon files.

Now Sennet in minor.md and Mattie.

Pre-David pass — scene 37, "What would have to be true"

Findings.

Part 1 — Does this sentence make sense?

1. "listened to the whole request with his eyes on the sheep" / "He said it before the request had properly finished"
Part 1, a line that contradicts itself (restate each clause flat and check they agree): he cannot both hear the whole request and answer before it finishes.
→ Cut "the whole" from the first: "…and listened to the request with his eyes on the sheep."

2. "Sennet's yard at twenty past seven" (against 36: "I'll ask anyway, at seven, in his own yard, before his day's work starts, because asking a busy man mid-task is how you get a no that's really about the task")
Part 1, check the clock and check the dependents of every edit. This is the author's own question about the time answered in the wrong direction: the redraft now shows Edwin arriving twenty minutes late and finding the man in the middle of exactly the task he said he had to arrive before. Three hundred ewes being moved is his day's work. As written the clock advertises that Edwin broke his own stated rule and nobody notices — and it costs Peri's reading its footing, because Sennet's no is now half-attributable to the interruption Edwin said he was avoiding.
→ Either put him there at seven with the sheep not yet started, or make the failure his and say so, e.g. after "identical": "Edwin had meant to be there at seven and before the sheep, and was neither, and asked anyway."
(Secondary: scene 34's landmark hour is also "twenty past" — "First light came at twenty past." Two consecutive Fenholt mornings pinned to the same figure reads as a habit of the drafter. Change one.)

3. "from one place to another place that looked, to Edwin, identical"
Part 4, a joke the character could not sincerely make (and Part 1, a fact overstated into a falsehood): Edwin reads ground with his hands to a foot and told the whole of scene 34 what a sward is doing. Two pieces of pasture do not look identical to him. The joke wants to be about shepherding, not about ground.
→ "…from one place to another place, for reasons Edwin could not have given if asked, sheep not being his trade."

4. "dug by his own hand or by Burl's" (in Edwin's morning request) vs. Sennet's second term, "The spade is mine or it's Burl's — no mage digs my ground"
Part 1, check the dependents; Part 5, redundancy. Edwin volunteered this at seven in the morning; twenty-four hours later Sennet demands it as a term and Edwin says "Agreed to both" as though it were news. The second term is inert, which flattens the three.
→ Elaborate rather than cut, so the term still lands and Edwin is seen to have been ahead of it: have Edwin answer "You had that yesterday and you'll have it in writing. And the third?" Alternatively drop "dug by his own hand or by Burl's" from the request and leave Edwin offering only to fill and turf.

5. "the thing in the Ordish field ran out at the north headland, and grass told nothing from above"
VOICE §2, every exchange understandable to a reader who has not read the previous scene. redacted sentence: unpublished prose
→ "…the thing in Mrs Ordish's top field — the rings, and the dead ground inside them — ran out at the north headland…"

6. "an answer given on the spot is a performance and an answer brought to me later is a decision"
Part 1, check every inference, and it fails against the scene's own premise: Peri has just proved that Sennet's on-the-spot answer was a decision, taken in advance. The sentence contradicts the discovery it is responding to. (It also fails Part 5 / edwin.md 13 — see finding 15.)
→ "…and I'll leave before he can answer it. If he answers with me standing in his gateway he's answering me. I want the one he's decided on his own."

7. "'Which is what should happen,' he said, 'when it's working.'"
Part 2, the line that refers to an earlier fact as if the reference were a point — this is the "That's how well it works." → "What?" construction exactly. "It" has no antecedent: the method? the asking? the man's ownership of his own ground? And Part 6: the tag splits the phrase, which he has objected to by name.
→ "'That's what it looks like when it's working,' he said. 'He's got the question, and I'm not standing over him while he answers it.'"

8. "he had asked one question, been looked at, wished a good evening"
VOICE §2, callback phrases never carry meaning on their own; if the meaning matters, say it again in full. The scene's title question is retired into "one question" at the exact moment it does its work.
redacted sentence: unpublished prose

9. "Every parish council I've faced in three hundred years… from one man's eyes at seven in the morning"
Part 1, check every count: the yard was at twenty past seven, and she read where he looked, what he did not look at, and what he said afterwards — not his eyes. Also Part 6: "Every parish council I've faced…, and I could count…" is a loose fragment-plus-clause where the plain form hits harder. (Overpraise: see finding 16.)
→ "I've sat in front of a great many parish councils. I've met perhaps five clerks who could have got that off a man in his own yard, and every one of them was older than you."

10. "You've got a rest of it; I can hear it queuing."
Part 1, a word doing a job it cannot do ("a rest of it" is not a thing one has), and Part 3, figures belong to the world — a queue is a thing seen, not heard, and the figure is doing no work a plain line would not do better.
→ "Say the rest of it. There's a rest of it. You've been holding it since his gate."

11. "Sennet was at the Ordish gate the next morning at five o'clock… 'Three things,' he said, to Edwin, in the yard"
Part 1, a paragraph starts somewhere the previous one did not leave it: he is at the gate and the next sentence has them in the yard with Edwin already present and no one having crossed anything.
→ "…with a spade over his shoulder, and Edwin came out to him."

12. "for the first time since the yard"
Part 1, a pronoun or reference with no clear antecedent: they are standing in a yard. This means Sennet's yard the previous morning.
→ "for the first time since his own yard the morning before."

13. "I'll want to shake your hand on it because the arrangement deserves a witness"
Part 1, a word doing a job it cannot do: a handshake between the two parties is not a witness to itself; the witness is Peri and the book, which is the next line. Also edwin.md 7a — the sentence keeps bolting clauses on with "and", which is the redacted inventory pile and banned for him.
→ "That's not a price. That's how it ought to be done everywhere and mostly isn't." He put his hand out. Then the writing instruction.

14. "took up the spade, and went to wake Burl"
Part 3, would this exist in a real world occupied by real people: Burl's time is Mattie Ordish's, and nobody has asked her for him. It is one clause to fix, and leaving it invites the question.
→ "…took up the spade, and went to the house to ask Mrs Ordish for Burl."

Parts 2–7

15. "an answer given on the spot is a performance and an answer brought to me later is a decision"
redacted sentence: unpublished prose It also collides with a second pair fourteen lines later ("That's not a price. That's how it ought to be done everywhere"). Keep the second (it is plainer and it answers Sennet directly); unmake this one into mechanism per the replacement in finding 6.

16. "Every parish council I've faced in three hundred years, and I could count on one hand the clerks who understood what you've just worked out"
Part 4 / edwin.md: he never thinks or speaks his own superlatives unbidden, and the same restraint governs the ones he hands out; peri.md's whole design is that she lands hits without knowing she has landed them (exemplar 13). Praise at this volume tells the reader what to think of her reading and, worse, closes the beat — she has nothing left to not-notice. The hit was already landed by his previous line ("That's a better reading than mine"), which is the right size and is his own self-audit (edwin.md 6b).
→ Use the smaller replacement in finding 9, or cut the sentence entirely and go straight to "All right. I'll ask your question."

17. "I want to say it carefully, because I only get one first impression and I'm about to spend it."
redacted sentence: unpublished prose
→ "That wasn't no to the dig. I've had one look at him and this is what I've got."

18. "The road is where the parish goes past."
redacted sentence: unpublished prose
→ "He looked at the road. Everybody in this parish goes past that gate, all day."

19. Peri's dashes — "He'd decided before we came —", "It'll be about the road — about it not being seen" — and no false start anywhere in her dialogue.
peri.md 6a, countable: the dash false start is her only unmistakable tell; no other dash may appear anywhere in her dialogue, and the joining dash dilutes it to nothing. Two joining dashes and zero false starts is the failure mode named in the file. (This is also most of the em-dash overrun: five dashes in 1,134 words against a ~2/1,000 budget. Fixing these two brings the scene to three, and finding 21 to two.)
redacted sentence: unpublished prose

20. "She was working it out loud now, the words in the wrong order and then the right one, the way she did."
peri.md 6a: "Perform redacted; never announce it." The narration claims a construction the dialogue does not contain — the speech it introduces is clean, ordered and finished. redacted sentence: unpublished prose
→ Cut the sentence and put the false start of finding 19 into the speech itself.

21. "Peri — write the three terms in the book, Mr Sennet's words, his name against them."
The act-two authority rule (VOICE §5a: orders to Peri happen only on ground and are answered for) is satisfied on the first count — it is on ground, mid-arrangement, and Sennet answers for it in the next line ("And read them back"). redacted sentence: unpublished prose It is also her book (36: "Your book").
→ "Peri, would you write the three terms in — Mr Sennet's words, and his name against them."

22. Peri's "and" count. Speech one carries three ("and I'm about to spend it" / "And everything he said after the no" / "and six holes on his headland"); speech two carries four ("and a man pushed off a no" / "and I wrote it down" / "and a man who does that" / "And he can't say any of that").
redacted sentence: unpublished prose
→ Speech one: "That sentence is doing work for him in the parish every single morning. Six holes on his headland would knock it flat." Speech two: full-stop "and I wrote it down" into its own sentence, and open the last sentence "He can't say any of that unless…".

23. "my father carried the kind man's story to his grave because it was never his to put down"
Part 2, the gesture at meaning, and Part 5, whose shape is this: the reason is right and must stay — but a story picked up and set down is a figure, and this is the most shaped sentence in the mouth of a man whose canon register is heavy, flat and daring. It reads as the narrator's sentence lent to him. The plain version carries the same reason and hurts more.
→ "…and my father was still saying drainage to men at the gate twenty years after, because the mage had said it and my father hadn't."

24. "three hundred ewes"
Part 1, viewpoint knowledge — how does Edwin have the exact figure off a moving flock? It is parish-known and the fix is one word.
→ "the whole of Sennet's flock" or "three hundred ewes or thereabouts".

Checked and not flagged: Peri says nothing from the yard to the road, consistent with 36's order; the "what would have to be true" phrase is completed to "…for it to be a yes" at first use; Sennet's terms speech is long and canon licenses it (minor.md: his terms, and the father/wet-years account, are established at length); "shown two dogs to the road" decodes off the dogs in the first paragraph; the ending is the work starting, not a resolving button.

The device a second round would be about: Edwin's praise of Peri's reading. The scene's real event is that she is right and he adopts it, and the draft currently states that twice — once correctly, as his own self-audit ("That's a better reading than mine"), and once as a three-hundred-year superlative that tells the reader what to think and takes the discovery off her. He read it as overpraise last time in another form; a second comment would be a verdict on the device, not on the sentence.

What it would take: let the adoption be the praise — he asks for the rest, he takes the question, and he goes at dusk and does it her way. Cut the parish-council sentence entirely rather than shrinking it, and Peri never learns she landed anything, which is the exemplar (scene 13) and the shape the character file asks for.