2026-09-02
User:
Facts-only consistency check on a freshly drafted scene in redacted: draft/book-01/scenes/73-thirteen-down.md unpublished (Day 37 = 21 Harvestmonth, 06:00–08:30, the muster and the walk to Holm Deep's mouth). Read it, then check every checkable fact against notes/canon/world/dungeons.md (the Place section, the mouth-air history, delve craft on the page, redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted.md, minor.md (redacted, redacted, redacted, redacted, redacted, redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose unpublished row 73 and the deeps rows, draft/book-01/SCENES.md row 73 and its binding list, and scenes 63, 71, 72 for continuity (the party: Fenholt four including redacted, redacted seven including redacted, Edwin, Peri; redacted at the mouth). Read notes/sealed/deeps.md (report shape only, never content) and check the sealed guards: the slate records date, hour, air; the candle;
[Holm Deep.]at the chain for everyone; air direction stated with the time; nobody explains the hole; the mason's sentence is said once, unasked and unanswered; no lode/scouring. Particular checks: (1) was the candle already used on-page in scene 63 unpublished and what did it do there; does 'Same as the thirteenth' hold; (2) the smell was 'told on the seventh' — is that right (which scene had Edwin at the mouth: 54?); (3) 'redacted' and 'redacted' are new names — does canon have names for redacted's four unnamed or Fenholt's other hands, and any collision; (4) does Edwin's saying 'Here' contradict anything; (5) the walk time and distance; (6) the sunrise plausibility of 'in the dark' at 06:00 on 21 Harvestmonth (late August equivalent); (7) 'the four things' — what were they in 65, and is it consistent that Edwin is asked to say them. STRICT: never read chapters/, rewrite/, draft/book-01/rejected-act2/, summaries/, or plans/book-01/arc-0*.md, unpublished or their git history. Report numbered findings with the quoted line, canon source, and minimal fix; then a 'New facts' list. Do not edit any file.
🔧 Bash: cat draft/book-01/scenes/73-thirteen-down.md unpublished
🔧 Bash: cat notes/canon/world/dungeons.md
✅ 37 lines, 6319 chars
✅ 41 lines, 2191 chars
🔧 Bash: cd redacted echo "=== timeline day 37 ===" grep -n -A5 -B2 "Day 37" notes/canon/world/t…
✅ 42 lines, 2221 chars
🔧 Bash: cd redacted echo "=== edwin staff ===" grep -n -i "staff" notes/canon/characters/edwin.…
✅ 21 lines, 1365 chars
🔧 Bash: cd redacted echo "=== clue-ledger row 73 and deeps ===" grep -n -B2 -A5 "^| 73\|row 73\…
✅ 151 lines, 29290 chars
🔧 Bash: cd redacted echo "=== SCENES.md row 73 ===" grep -n -B2 -A5 "^| 73\|| *73 *|" draft/boo…
✅ 9 lines, 1005 chars
🔧 Bash: cd redacted echo "=== minor.md relevant characters ===" grep -n -i "redacted\|redacted…
✅ 39 lines, 2918 chars
🔧 Bash: cd redacted echo "=== Place section, mouth-air history, delve craft, delve day clock, S…
✅ 23 lines, 1196 chars
🔧 Bash: cd redacted sed -n '1,50p' draft/book-01/scenes/63-*.md 2>/dev/null || ls draft/book-01…
✅ 41 lines, 6348 chars
🔧 Bash: cd redacted echo "candle mentions in scenes:" grep -rn -i "candle" draft/book-01/scenes…
✅ 47 lines, 13558 chars
🔧 Bash: cd redacted grep -rln "thirteenth" draft/book-01/scenes/*.md echo "---" grep -n "thirte…
✅ 9 lines, 3251 chars
🔧 Bash: cd redacted sed -n '320,340p' notes/canon/world/timeline.md echo "---54 scene, edwin at…
✅ 31 lines, 1660 chars
🔧 Bash: cd redacted for f in 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71; do echo "=== $f ==="; grep -n -i "mouth\|…
✅ 12 lines, 2733 chars
🔧 Bash: cd redacted sed -n '36,250p' notes/canon/world/dungeons.md
✅ 215 lines, 13081 chars
🔧 Bash: cd redacted sed -n '681,765p' notes/canon/world/dungeons.md
✅ 85 lines, 4826 chars
🔧 Bash: cd redacted sed -n '1,40p' notes/canon/world/timeline.md | grep -n "Harvestmonth\|Day 3…
✅ 20 lines, 1431 chars
🔧 Bash: cd redacted sed -n '281,295p' notes/canon/world/timeline.md
✅ 15 lines, 967 chars
🔧 Bash: cd redacted cat draft/book-01/scenes/59-the-slate-at-the-chain.md unpublished
✅ 39 lines, 6596 chars
🔧 Bash: cd redacted sed -n '225,260p' notes/canon/characters/minor.md echo "---search redacted…
✅ 37 lines, 2320 chars
🔧 Bash: cd redacted cat draft/book-01/scenes/71-*.md draft/book-01/scenes/72-*.md
✅ 78 lines, 11990 chars
🔧 Bash: cd redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose unpublished
✅ 23 lines, 4452 chars
🔧 Bash: cd redacted grep -n -i "harvestmonth\|month.*correspond\|calendar\|august\|sunrise\|equ…
✅ 23 lines, 2286 chars
🔧 Bash: cd redacted sed -n '1,40p' notes/canon/world/timeline.md echo "---continent lat---" sed…
✅ 52 lines, 2975 chars
🔧 Bash: cd redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose
✅ 31 lines, 2023 chars
🔧 Bash: cd redacted sed -n '95,105p;170,180p' notes/canon/characters/edwin.md echo "---peri boo…
✅ 66 lines, 3703 chars
🔧 Bash: cd redacted grep -n -i "draws\|drawing\|blowing\|blows\|air.*mouth\|mouth.*air" notes/c…
✅ 5 lines, 347 chars
🔧 Read notes/sealed/deeps.md
✅ 880 lines, 59312 chars
🔧 Bash: cd redacted sed -n '110,135p;215,230p' notes/canon/world/institutions.md
✅ 42 lines, 2781 chars
1. "Same as the thirteenth" — wrong reference date, and the candle scene it echoes is on-page as the tenth, not the thirteenth.
Quoted: *"redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose
The only on-page candle-at-the-mouth scene with Edwin present is scenes/59-the-slate-at-the-chain.md unpublished (dated "Tenth of Harvestmonth"), where the candle "leaned toward them... not much, and steadily" — a mild, steady lean, which is the same character as scene 73 unpublished's "It bent away from the throat... redacted sentence: unpublished prose stronger than a candle reading, not a candle comparison point at all. timeline.md Day 29 (13 Harvestmonth) also puts Edwin at the Fenholt pump and then the church tower that whole day/night — he is never at the mouth on the 13th. Fix: change "Same as the thirteenth" to "Same as the tenth."
2. "He had felt it on the thirteenth" — Edwin was never at the mouth on the 13th.
Quoted: "He had felt it on the thirteenth, and had been told the smell of it on the seventh, and he knew it now..."
timeline.md Day 29 places Edwin at the Fenholt pump reading the sky, then on the church tower 15:20–19:30+ holding back mist, the whole day/night of the 13th/14th — redacted night. He is not at the mouth. His only on-page mouth visit before redacted is the tenth (scenes/59). redacted sentence: unpublished prose
3. "had been told the smell of it on the seventh" — wrong, on two counts.
Per scenes/59, redacted says "I was there on the fifth... I was there on the seventh instead" — those are her solo visits; Edwin isn't present for either. redacted sentence: unpublished prose And old" beside him — he isn't "told," he smells it and half-names it himself. Fix: "had smelled it himself on the tenth" (or similar), not "told... on the seventh."
4. "Edwin had asked on the thirteenth" (re: the candle/box, 'it's in the book') — same date error as #1/#2; no scene shows this exchange.
redacted sentence: unpublished prose
Again, Edwin was not at the mouth on the 13th, so this conversation cannot have happened there. The one on-page moment closest to it is scene 59 unpublished redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted sentence: unpublished prose Also worth noting: in scene 59 unpublished Edwin and Peri stand behind the chain while redacted alone crosses it and receives the box — so scene 73 unpublished's "It came to Edwin as it had come on the thirteenth" implies he'd received this box himself before, which the drafted material doesn't support (his crossing in scene 73 unpublished is his first). Fix: either move this beat to the tenth and rewrite as Edwin learning about the box (not "it's in the book") from redacted's scene-59 explanation, or cut the claim that he'd received the box before.
minor.md lists redacted's six as redacted, redacted, plus "four unnamed" — "redacted" fills one of those slots and doesn't collide with any existing name. Fenholt's four (redacted + three) are listed as redacted, redacted, "the other rostered hands unnamed" — "redacted" fills that remaining slot. No name collisions found anywhere in canon/plans/scenes. unpublished Both are consistent with the roster counts in scenes/71/scenes/72 (Fenholt four, redacted seven with redacted). Per plans/book-01/clue-ledger.md unpublished's current-draft plan (the row explicitly tagged scene 73 unpublished redacted sentence: unpublished prose6. Edwin's "Here" — no contradiction found. Roll-call/roster procedure (redacted reading names, redacted entering, "Enter it") is consistent with scenes/72's established muster mechanics; nothing elsewhere specifies a different response format.
7. "The four things" — established elsewhere as a different, unrelated list, and Edwin reciting Peri's list is a role mismatch.
Two problems:
notes/canon/world/institutions.md already names "the four things" as a specific, itemized post-break institutional reform (delve-date-move rule, monthly leakage counts, monthly post to redacted/Wystow, day rate) — a completely different four things from scene 73 unpublished's. That beat is chronologically later (post-delve reforms) and not yet drafted in the current scenes, but it will reuse the exact phrase "the four things" for a different list — a naming collision worth flagging before that scene is drafted.scenes/72) — Peri's sword-conduct instructions don't apply to his role, and nothing establishes that he was taught or overheard them. Him reciting Peri's combat drill is a role mismatch as written.Checks that hold, no issue found:
system.md line 965-967, continent.md "48–52°N analogue"), so 21 Harvestmonth ≈ 21 September, near the equinox. Dark at 06:00 with "the light coming" by 06:20 is squarely plausible at that latitude and date — no contradiction, though the prompt's "late August equivalent" premise was itself off by a month.notes/sealed/deeps.md, content not disclosed): slate records date/hour/air — present; [Holm Deep.] at the chain for everyone — present; air direction stated with the time — present; nobody explains the hole — held; the mason's sentence said once, unasked and unanswered — held, matches the ledger's planned placement for this scene; no lode/scouring anywhere in the scene — held. All guards check out.redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted sentence: unpublished prose "The boots she had walked from home in" overstates this. The resoling detail is new and unproblematic on its own. redacted sentence: unpublished prose