2026-09-02
User:
You are a canon-consistency lens for a novel draft in redacted. Check one newly drafted scene for FACTS ONLY. Report findings; do not edit any file.
Scene: draft/book-01/scenes/66-the-fen-margin.md unpublished — the night of 13/14 Harvestmonth (Day 29/30; Day 1 = 15 Cornmonth). Read scenes 58, 59, 63, 64, 65 in draft/book-01/scenes/ for continuity.
redacted sentence
STRICT: never read chapters/, rewrite/, draft/book-01/rejected-act2/, summaries/, plans/book-01/arc-0*.md, unpublished or their git history; do not search for them.
Verify: (1) the clock through the night against timeline.md (first redacted 00:08 vs 'from midnight'; the hatches — the scene has redacted's yes at 'twenty to two' and redacted over its banks by 'half past three' vs canon 01:40 and 04:00; redacted at 02:30; mist at 04:20); (2) the physical description of the redacted and redacted against dungeons.md — flag any detail that contradicts (e.g. redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted and redacted; canon says nine redacted and redacted — flag whether the scene needs a count said; (4) whether the scene reproduces canon's forbidden or reserved beats (the [Swordsmanship] unlock is NOT here — correct); (5) Edwin's hatch proposal: is it consistent that he reads where water goes and that the flooding was hatches not magic; (6) redacted's 'They'll not cross water' ('ll not — dialect) and the claim; (7) the seven lamps / four people (65 says a four at the post); (8) the Seal exchange: does Peri say why she will not use it? redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose He went to redacted at twenty to two and Sennet's men worked the gear — where is Edwin between two and four? Flag continuity.
Output: numbered findings with the quoted line, the canon file/line or fact contradicted, and a concrete replacement. Then 'New facts' one line each. No praise.
🔧 Bash: cat draft/book-01/scenes/66-the-fen-margin.md unpublished
✅ 43 lines, 8559 chars
🔧 Bash: for f in 58 59 63 64 65; do echo "=== $f ==="; ls draft/book-01/scenes/ | grep "^$f-"; do…
✅ 10 lines, 203 chars
🔧 Bash: cat notes/canon/world/timeline.md
🔧 Bash: cat notes/canon/world/dungeons.md
✅ 41 lines, 2191 chars
✅ 41 lines, 2224 chars
🔧 Bash: cat notes/canon/characters/peri.md; echo ---; cat notes/canon/characters/redacted.md; e…
✅ 43 lines, 2184 chars
🔧 Bash: cat notes/canon/world/geography.md; echo ---; cat notes/canon/system.md | grep -n -i "sea…
✅ 45 lines, 2246 chars
🔧 Bash: sed -n '1,400p' draft/book-01/BACKFILL-ACT2.md | grep -n -i "redacted\|water\|withy\|st…
✅ 4 lines, 584 chars
🔧 Bash: grep -n -i "66\|fen margin\|second gate\|midnight\|withy" draft/book-01/SCENES.md | head…
✅ 4 lines, 435 chars
🔧 Bash: grep -n -i "clue\|redacted\|water" notes/sealed/deeps.md | head -60
✅ 60 lines, 6729 chars
🔧 Bash: grep -n -i "day 30\|redacted\|hatch\|withy\|second gate\|midnight\|01:10\|01:40\|02:30\…
✅ 29 lines, 2031 chars
🔧 Bash: grep -n -i "nine redacted\|kill\|one out-of-position\|Seal\|out-of-position\|midnight"…
✅ 32 lines, 4216 chars
🔧 Bash: sed -n '1,200p' notes/canon/characters/redacted.md | grep -n -i "hook\|thrust\|error\|o…
✅ 5 lines, 351 chars
🔧 Bash: grep -n -i "redacted\|redacted\|redacted\|sluice-keeper\|sennet" notes/canon/charac…
✅ 21 lines, 1519 chars
🔧 Bash: grep -n -i "second gate\|withy\|main cut\|hatch\|four hundred\|three-foot" redacted: private…
✅ 16 lines, 1155 chars
🔧 Bash: grep -n -i "lamp\|four\|seven\|post\|Seal\|midnight" draft/book-01/scenes/65-the-sluice-k…
✅ 11 lines, 4822 chars
🔧 Bash: grep -n -i "out-of-position\|redacted, named\|named once" redacted: private
✅ 1 lines, 69 chars
🔧 Bash: grep -n -i "seal\|midnight\|i'd want to know\|i would want to know" notes/canon/system.md
✅ 31 lines, 2286 chars
Now I have enough to write findings.
redacted head description contradicts canon.** Scene: "a head that was mostly jaw." Canon (notes/canon/world/dungeons.md evidence-table row 24): "head mostly a hinge." Also pre-david-pass/established fauna line calls it "put together on a different principle." Replace with a hinge-jointed head, not a jaw-dominant one — e.g. "a head that was mostly hinge."
**Peri's kill count is not stated and understates canon. notes/canon/characters/peri.md: "Her kills before it: nine redacted and redacted on 14 Harvestmonth" (Established). The scene shows Peri killing exactly one redacted (the third one, "wide of the bills") and then redacted, with no further count given. As written this reads as a total of one redacted + redacted, not nine. Needs an explicit count-carrying beat (e.g., redacted or redacted's tally in the day book reaching nine against Peri's name, or a line noting she took the ones that came wide of the bills all night) so the scene doesn't silently contradict the Established total.
Missing beat: "the one out-of-position step ... named once by redacted, never repeated." peri.md line 73 establishes this as a specific, named moment on this night. The scene's account of Peri's fight with redacted ("three steps... which was one more than she had been told") plausibly is meant to be this moment, but redacted never names or comments on it in the scene — no one calls out the extra step. Either confirm this is meant to be that beat and add redacted's naming of it, or flag that the beat is still owed elsewhere.
redacted's owned error description differs slightly from canon's ordering but is not wrong — canon (redacted.md): "hooked redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose owned in front of five people." The scene has redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose No contradiction, noting for completeness.
redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted sentence: unpublished prose 015, at 23:52). redacted sentence: unpublished prose Replace with a line consistent with her having already stated the "I'd want to know" reason (either don't claim she withheld the reason, or have her repeat it here rather than asserting silence).
Timeline mismatches against notes/canon/world/timeline.md (Day 30):
Where is Edwin between 01:40 and 04:00? The scene has Edwin go by cart to redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted came at half past two" with Edwin apparently back at the gate (he watches the fight "from the gate" per the earlier action, and later personally observes the redacted-at-the-water be. redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted. The scene never shows him travelling from the gate to the near-pasture drain, nor returning. This is a geography/continuity gap: either add the movement (from second gate to near-pasture drain, timed between the long-thing fight ending and 03:00) or move the redacted-at-water observation to a point/observer consistent with where Edwin actually is.
Seven lamps vs four people — consistent with scene 65 unpublished. Scene 65 unpublished redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted, redacted and redacted at the post" plus Peri as the fourth. Scene 66 unpublished redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted, redacted, redacted, Peri). The lamp count of seven is new information not contradicted by scene 65 unpublished (unspecified there) — flagged as a new fact, not an error.
redacted's line "They'll not cross water. Not deep water." Canon/dungeons.md establishes redacted "cross wet ground reluctantly and noisily... redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted's flat claim "They'll not cross water" is a character's working generalization stated aloud (matches BACKFILL-ACT2.md's redacted-at-the-water beat being "written, uncommented" — i.e., nobody is meant to draw the correct conclusion). This is fine as an in-character approximation, not a narrator's factual claim, so not a contradiction — but flagging because it risks reading as an authorial claim that water is an absolute barrier, when canon (sealed clue 6) requires that the refusal-at-standing-water detail stay uncommented and unexplained. Recommend confirming no character (Edwin included) draws the "why" conclusion — currently nobody does, which is correct per the sealed clue.
No forbidden exposition present. The scene does not have anyone explain the biology of the hole or the creatures beyond direct observation — correct per constraints. The [Swordsmanship] skill unlock is correctly absent (per BACKFILL/system.md, it belongs to a later scene, in the second chamber).
redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted finishing redacted "by feel" in redacted matches minor.md: "redacted finished redacted in redacted by feel" — consistent.
redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted sentence: unpublished prose No contradiction.
New facts (established by this scene, not previously in canon — flag for backfill):