2026-09-02
User:
You are a canon-consistency lens for a novel draft in redacted. Check two newly drafted scenes for FACTS ONLY. Report findings; do not edit any file.
redacted sentence: unpublished prose unpublished redacted sentence: unpublished prose unpublished (Day 29 = 13 Harvestmonth, 14:20). redacted sentence: unpublished prose Read scenes 02, 07, 26, 30, 44–46, 55, 59–61 in draft/book-01/scenes/ for continuity (07 and 26 in full: Edwin's account of the shed and the mana lecture).
Read for facts: draft/book-01/SCENES.md (act-two table and binding list — 'redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose
STRICT: never read chapters/, rewrite/, draft/book-01/rejected-act2/, summaries/, plans/book-01/arc-0*.md, unpublished or their git history; do not search for them.
Verify in particular: (1) 62: 'I was nineteen, in my second year of training' — matches canon; 'I have never cast one since' — canon says he casts it again in the Deep (future; fine) — any contradiction with earlier scenes 07's account? Does 62 repeat scene 07's 'one spell, one shed' joke (forbidden as a callback)? (2) 'the largest pool alive ... you said so on the causeway' — scene 26 check; (3) 'the fastest working I own that would stop anything' — 'four hours ... still day' matches magic.md; (4) 'the second of Edwin's three reasons for what happened eleven days later' — redacted is 21 Harvestmonth = Day 37; from Day 26 that is eleven days — check; and canon's three reasons: is 'the count' the first? and is naming a third he 'would not have said' consistent with edwin.md (the inability to sit still)? Flag whether the narrator promising a reason he 'would not say' is a withheld promise the story pays (edwin.md says the third reason IS on the page in the old draft; the new draft must pay it by scene 71 unpublished/73 — note it); (5) 63: the timeline of the working (half past three to half past seven; 'until four'); redacted's roster in 63 vs timeline (nine steadings off by 20:00; lamps at the withy-bed post; the second gate); 'the eighteenth/nineteenth' for the aid hands (redacted's rider 'the day after tomorrow' from the 10th = the 12th; then four days to redacted and back? canon: six redacted hands on the ground on the 19th); the mist physics ('the ground's warm and the air's cooling, and that's all mist is' — real?); redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose
Output: numbered findings with the quoted line, the canon file/line or fact contradicted, and a concrete replacement. Then 'New facts' one line each. No praise.
🔧 Bash: redacted sentence: unpublished prose unpublished redacted sentence: unpublished prose…
🔧 Bash: for f in draft/book-01/scenes/07*.md draft/book-01/scenes/26*.md; do echo "=== $f ==="; c…
✅ 76 lines, 11178 chars
✅ 100 lines, 11631 chars
🔧 Bash: cat draft/book-01/SCENES.md 2>/dev/null | grep -n -i "redacted\|shed\|fear\|speed" | he…
✅ 53 lines, 6152 chars
🔧 Bash: cat notes/canon/characters/edwin.md 2>/dev/null echo "---MAGIC---" cat notes/canon/world/…
✅ 43 lines, 2247 chars
🔧 Bash: grep -n "fight\|three reasons\|Fear, speed\|count\b\|Deep\|would not have said\|withheld"…
✅ 17 lines, 1211 chars
🔧 Bash: grep -n -i "mist\|still air\|four hours\|salt marsh\|fen" notes/canon/world/magic.md | he…
✅ 13 lines, 841 chars
🔧 Bash: cat notes/canon/world/timeline.md 2>/dev/null | grep -n -A5 -B5 "Day 29\|14:20\|redacted…
✅ 41 lines, 2424 chars
🔧 Bash: cat notes/canon/world/dungeons.md 2>/dev/null | grep -n -A3 -B3 "13 Harvestmonth\|face at…
✅ 32 lines, 1911 chars
🔧 Bash: grep -n -i "second day\|mouth-air\|how they talk" notes/canon/characters/redacted.md ec…
✅ 7 lines, 447 chars
🔧 Bash: redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted.md notes/canon/w…
✅ 25 lines, 2454 chars
🔧 Bash: sed -n '1,45p' notes/canon/characters/redacted.md
✅ 45 lines, 2602 chars
🔧 Bash: sed -n '180,200p;940,975p' notes/canon/characters/edwin.md
✅ 54 lines, 3412 chars
🔧 Bash: sed -n '80,106p' notes/canon/world/magic.md
✅ 26 lines, 1775 chars
🔧 Bash: grep -n -i "redacted\|nineteenth\|18 Harvestmonth\|19 Harvestmonth\|rider" notes/canon/…
✅ 16 lines, 1712 chars
🔧 Bash: grep -n -i "sixty years\|the book\b" notes/canon/characters/redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose…
✅ 22 lines, 2294 chars
🔧 Bash: redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted.md | head -30
✅ 8 lines, 788 chars
Scene 62 unpublished — "the fastest working I own that would stop anything at all."
redacted sentence: unpublished prose unpublished uses the struck phrasing verbatim. redacted sentence: unpublished prose
Scene 63 unpublished — "The eighteenth," said Edwin... "I'll take the eighteenth."
Timeline canon (notes/canon/world/timeline.md line 320, under Days 31–35/15–19 Harvestmonth) fixes the redacted Wardens' arrival at 16:00 on the 19th (six, Warden redacted) — matching redacted's own first estimate in the same scene ("here on the nineteenth at soonest"). Edwin's correction to "the eighteenth," which redacted then accepts and rosters against, contradicts the established arrival date. Replacement: cut Edwin's correction, or have him confirm the nineteenth ("The nineteenth, if redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted's "I'll take the eighteenth" line or change it to nineteenth.
Scene 62 unpublished — "You've the largest pool alive. You said so on the causeway."
Scene 26 attributes that claim to a third party, not Edwin: "The man on your coach who told you I had the largest pool alive had the fact right and the story wrong." Edwin never makes the boast in his own voice on the causeway — he corrects it. Scene 62 unpublished has Peri misremember it as something Edwin told her himself ("you said it wasn't a boast"), which he never says anywhere on page. redacted sentence: unpublished prose
Scene 63 unpublished — "He's stood at that gate six hours for you once."
redacted sentence: unpublished prose As written, redacted's line invents an unestablished separate past event and risks being read as describing today's stand with the wrong duration and wrong location (gate vs. tower/parapet). Flag for confirmation: either cut the claim, or make explicit it is a different, earlier occasion, and don't let "six hours" sit next to the canon "four hours" for the tower stand happening today.
Scene 62 unpublished — the third of Edwin's three reasons.
redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted sentence: unpublished prose Scene 62 unpublished explicitly withholds it ("he would not have said what the third was, then or afterwards, to anybody"), converting an established on-page fact into a promise the story must now pay elsewhere. This is not a contradiction but a structural change from canon that needs the payoff scheduled — flag for confirmation it lands by scene 71 unpublished/73 as intended, since as written it currently reads as a mystery with no visible answer point in these two scenes.
Scene 63 unpublished mist physics — "the ground's warm and the air's cooling, and that's all mist is."
Real radiation mist forms because the ground cools fastest by radiative loss on a clear, still night, chilling the air layer in contact with it below the dew point — the ground is the thing cooling hardest, not "warm." As phrased, this gets the mechanism backward (farming-check territory). Replacement: something like "the ground's losing its heat faster than the air is, and that's all mist is" — closer to the real radiation-fog mechanism and still plain-spoken.