Facts-only consistency check on two freshly drafted scenes in [redacted]…

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2026-09-02

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Facts-only consistency check on two freshly drafted scenes in redacted: draft/book-01/scenes/103-the-wrong-place.md unpublished (Days 64–68 = 18–22 Fallowmonth) and 104-ground-that-doesnt-answer.md unpublished (Days 69–71 = 23–25 Fallowmonth). Read them, then check every checkable fact against notes/canon/world/magic.md ('redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted. redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted.md, redacted.md (dug the sump? the key to the plots), minor.md (redacted and the two second-years; redacted at the seventh 'It's very dull... redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted sentence: unpublished prose Also: the redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose STRICT: never read chapters/, rewrite/, draft/book-01/rejected-act2/, summaries/, or plans/book-01/arc-0*.md, unpublished or their git history. Report numbered findings with quoted line, canon source, minimal fix; then 'New facts'. Do not edit any file.

22 tool calls

🔧 Read draft/book-01/scenes/103-the-wrong-place.md unpublished

✅ 42 lines, 7482 chars

🔧 Read draft/book-01/scenes/104-ground-that-doesnt-answer.md unpublished

✅ 54 lines, 7662 chars

🔧 Read notes/canon/world/magic.md

🔧 Read notes/canon/world/magic-explained.md

✅ 302 lines, 18088 chars

🔧 Read notes/canon/world/silent-soil.md

✅ 777 lines, 48403 chars

🔧 Read notes/canon/world/timeline.md

✅ 670 lines, 42638 chars

🔧 Read notes/canon/world/farm-teaching.md

✅ 279 lines, 18507 chars

✅ 870 lines, 56502 chars

🔧 Read notes/canon/characters/peri.md

🔧 Read notes/canon/characters/redacted.md

🔧 Read notes/canon/characters/redacted.md

✅ 245 lines, 15058 chars

✅ 975 lines, 64406 chars

🔧 Read notes/canon/characters/minor.md

✅ 543 lines, 35998 chars

✅ 628 lines, 40049 chars

Findings from checking draft/book-01/scenes/103-the-wrong-place.md unpublishedand104-ground-that-doesnt-answer.md unpublished against canon.

  1. redacted's key to the plots — anachronism.
    Scene 103 unpublished, l.41: "redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted.md both date redacted's key explicitly to ch. 031 ("redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose Giving him the key at Day 64 pre-empts an established later beat. Minimal fix: drop "now," or replace with something that doesn't claim possession of a key this early (e.g., "who had fetched the spade himself").

2. Version numbering conflicts with the timeline's compressed summary.
Draft explicitly numbers: 1 = the census ("forty seconds… lied," 18th), 2 = "nothing anywhere" (cast 20th/walked 21st), 3 = disturbance (built 21st/walked 22nd, "It's the third version," 103 l.39), 4 = "what's missing" (23rd), 5 = "is it dead" (24th). redacted sentence: unpublished prose The draft's absolute numbering (which counts the census as "the first version") is internally consistent with farm-teaching.md's "four wrong directions" (nothing/disturbance/missing/dead = 4, excluding the census as a different exercise), but conflicts on label with timeline.md's terse "second version = disturbance." Minimal fix: this is timeline.md's compression that needs updating to match the draft's (and its own detailed magic.md account's) actual numbering — not a draft error, but flag for reconciliation.

3. The turn is dated to the 24th, not the 25th.
redacted sentence: unpublished prose unpublished has the fifth version ("is it dead") cast on the 24th, and the turn conversation ("Six days," said Peri…the sentence itself) happens the same evening, immediately followed by Edwin dating his book entry "24 Fal" (confirmed by the closing line, l.53: "E.M.'s book, 24 Fal. Before he built anything."). The actual charm-build happens "on the twenty-fifth" (l.27), the next day. Draft's own arithmetic ("Six days," from Day 64=18th to 24th = six days) supports the 24th dating internally. Canon source: timeline.md's bullet compresses turn+build into "the 25th"; the draft splits them, dating the turn to the 24th and the build to the 25th. Minimal fix: reconcile timeline.md's phrasing to distinguish "turn (24th)" from "seventh built (25th)," or adjust the draft if DRMacIver wants both same-day.

  1. redacted's pump line given to Edwin — confirmed misattribution.
    characters/minor.md: redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose unpublished redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted's canonical line to Edwin at its point of origin. Minimal fix: give Edwin a different image, or cut the line and let it originate with redacted later (Wystow teaching, ch. 030) as canon has it.

  2. redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose
    Scene 104 unpublished, l.43 quotes this exactly as Established in magic.md ("redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose They'll want it cheaper.'"). The line is technically correct against current canon, but per standing project guidance ("Dialect is off" — plain modern English for all speakers; fix the licence not the instance) the first-person "I'd not" construction is apparently being retired project-wide. Since this exact phrasing is itself the Established canon quote (not a new draft error), this is a case where the canon citation itself may need revisiting rather than the draft — flagging per the instruction, not resolving.

6. "Is it dead" version — does not breach the "nobody says the ground is dead" rule.
Scene 104 unpublished, l.9: Edwin builds the question "knowing it was wrong" despite having ruled out saying the ground is dead; the charm's answer is negative on both sides ("Living ground was not dead and redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose This does not breach the silent-soil sealed constraint. No fix needed.

7. Peri quoting Edwin's own "ground that doesn't answer" sentence back at him — permitted.
Scene 104 unpublished redacted sentence: unpublished prose This matches magic.md's account, where the "It isn't absence…" line originates with Edwin at the pale field and Peri's addition is hers. No breach — the draft correctly preserves origin and credit. No fix needed.

8. Cost accounting — minor mismatch with the per-hour rate.
redacted sentence: unpublished prose 026). Draft 104, l.43: the session runs 4:00–5:30 (an hour and a half), but Edwin says it "cost… about a compost cantrip" for the full session, not "about a cantrip and a half" as the ruled per-hour scaling (magic.md, "What the seventh costs…") would imply. Minimal fix: either shorten the walked session to about an hour, or adjust the cost line to "about a cantrip and a half," to keep the canonical per-hour quote's arithmetic intact.

9. Minor wording drift on the sensation quote.
redacted sentence: unpublished prose Dull. Like a stream you stop hearing after a minute." Close paraphrase, not exact — "uninteresting" → "Dull," and "after a minute" is added. Since this scene is presumably the source material for that Established quote, worth tightening to the canonical wording if this passage is meant to be its origin.

10. Everything else checks out.
West-end third station (Mattie's amendment, redacted's objection and loss) — matches exactly. Manuring books/plot 14/"redacted, three years" sequence — matches. Construction of versions 2–5 out of frost-sense + water-finding — matches. Final seventh's construction (cast on caster not ground, frost-sense shape + water-finding walk, "not a spot… a step," hand's-breadth resolution, "Moss's" not yet named here — correctly absent) — all match. Mana line ("more mana in a week than since the tower") — matches near-verbatim. The seventh does not explain cause anywhere in these scenes — consistent with the sealed-file constraint.

New facts (introduced by the draft, not previously in canon, for backfill consideration):