Run the pre-David pass exactly as specified in [redacted]/.claude/ski…

I'll start by reading the skill and the required context.

I read the skill in full, VOICE.md, the redacted / Peri / Edwin / minor canon files, system.md (timekeeping, status, achievements), dungeons.md (redacted boxes), and scenes 66, 72, 73 as they stand on disk now. I edited nothing. Note: 73, 74 and 75 have moved since the canon lens ran (redacted replaces redacted on the slope; "five to twelve"; the shouting maxim is already gone), so the quotes below are from the current files.

Part 1 — sense, counts, clocks, inferences

1. redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted sentence: unpublished prose

2. redacted sentence: unpublished prose Thirteen went down; redacted stayed at the mouth; Edwin and Peri hold lamps, not bills, and the next two paragraphs say so explicitly. It also contradicts "seven of them at the waist" in ¶1. redacted sentence: unpublished prose

3. 76 ¶6 — a count from places where nothing was killed. "redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose Nothing comes out of anything on the slope or in the second chamber anywhere in 75; the only count on the page is the first chamber's hundred and forty-odd. Replace: "redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose

4. 76 ¶6 — the count drill contradicts the roster in 73. "redacted had said at the roster that the count was said at the bottom and written at the bottom and said again at the throat". redacted sentence: unpublished prose Replace with 73's wording plus the bottom, or amend 73; as written the reader who has the roster is being told a different rule three scenes later.

5. redacted sentence: unpublished prose Thirteen people up an eight-foot rope and a hundred and sixty yards of stooping passage in five minutes. Replace "At ten to two" with "At five past two" — which also lands the party in the second chamber at about ten past, where canon puts the arm.

6. 75 ¶1 — the slope's length and drop do not agree. "four hundred yards of it by redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose Four hundred yards falling a hundred feet is about one in twelve — a cart track, not a scree a man's foot goes into and that wants roping in fours. Loose stone lies at about thirty-five degrees. Replace: "eighty yards of it by redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose (It also stops redacted carrying four hundred yards of rope.)

7. 75 ¶5 — redacted contradicts herself two paragraphs apart. "because redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted did not stop." She has just stopped them three times on the slope. Cut "and redacted did not stop"; the lamp up in the mouth of the slope already does the work. redacted sentence: unpublished prose

8. 75 ¶5 — "Say a number" is a coded exchange. "redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted said 'Forty,' and redacted said 'That's your knee, not your head. Go on.'" The reader cannot recover what the test is for, and redacted's reply then dismisses her own question. Also a "That's X, not Y" verdict, which is Edwin's construction and banned for a warden written procedural without epigrams. Replace: "and redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted said 'Forty,' and redacted said 'Your knee, then. Go on.'"

9. 75 ¶7 — the sixth way, and what redacted is not saying. "redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose Say it: "...and redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose

10. redacted sentence: unpublished prose Scene 73 unpublished is the only chain in the book and he never puts a hand to the ground in it — he hands over the staff and goes over. Either stage the listening in 73, or replace the reference with something the reader has: "The way you did on Mattie's headland."

11. redacted sentence: unpublished prose 76: "the bottom was where the page said the mages had heard it most." Both cannot be the reason he was dreading it. redacted sentence: unpublished prose

12. 75 ¶16 — the date is an inference with nothing under it. "I'd put the day it started at about the day your mouth started blowing out". He has a clean-edged mark and eighteen inches of fall; nothing in either dates the start. redacted sentence: unpublished prose Replace: "and I can't give you the day it started, and anybody who does is guessing at the same things I'm looking at."

13. 75 ¶16 — a man's weight of stone will not plug a three-foot hole. "I could put a man's weight of stone in that hole in ten minutes." Eleven stone of rock is about a stride's worth of rubble. redacted sentence: unpublished prose

14. 76 ¶2 — redacted did not say what the sentence says she said. "redacted said so, in her way, which was to say the time and then say 'Bottom,' and then nothing." Saying "Bottom" is not saying the room is the least remarkable in the hill. Also she says the word first and the time second in 74 ("said 'Chamber,' and the time"). Replace: "redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose

15. 76 ¶8 — a claim about what people knew. "Nobody on my page knew it had a drain." She can attest what the page says, not what four dead wardens knew. redacted sentence: unpublished prose

16. redacted sentence: unpublished prose Cut it and end on the rope.

17. 76 ¶14 — a tallow lamp does not burn white. "It had been white, or the white a tallow lamp is, all day." Their lamps are hooded oil lamps with horn panels (the tallow in this book is redacted's candle in 73), and tallow light is the yellow the paragraph is about to describe as wrong. redacted sentence: unpublished prose

18. 76 ¶14 — the same fact twice. "Nobody had seen it change. redacted sentence: unpublished prose

19. 74 ¶9 — what he could not tell her. "He could not tell her what the number was." She can see the number; what she does not know is what it counts. Replace: "He could not tell her what the second number counted."

20. 74 ¶4 — the chalk nine is unexplained. redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose 73 has her numbering openings as she passes them, which would make this one four. redacted sentence: unpublished prose

Part 2 — gestures at meaning

21. 74 ¶2 — the ballad frame does not cash out. "he had not known which to believe. redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted sentence: unpublished prose

22. 74 ¶3 — the negative inventory is a device, not a description. "There was no treasure in it. There were no bones of adventurers, no pillars, no carving, no light that came from nowhere." Five negations in two sentences, addressed to the reader's genre expectations rather than to Edwin's eye, and it is the anaphora the brief flags. redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted sentence: unpublished prose

23. 75 ¶2 — the shadow figure only half follows. "so that a man saw the step he had taken and not the step he was taking." A waist lamp throwing near stones over far ones stops you seeing the step ahead; it does not make you see the one behind. redacted sentence: unpublished prose

24. 75 ¶2 — negative parallelism. "It was not a staircase. It was loose." Replace: "The stone was loose. redacted sentence: unpublished prose

25. 75 ¶11 — the room is described as a sink with the plug in, having just been described as draining. "This room's a sink with the plug in." He has said in the same speech that the drain has taken eighteen inches back — a plugged sink takes nothing back. The metaphor fights the mechanism, and the mechanism is the good part. redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted sentence: unpublished prose That's water coming up one," is his one allowed contrastive pair per scene, so the sink figure was spending a budget that was already gone.

26. 75 ¶17 — "a stillness that has a shape". "Nothing. Not the nothing of a field, which is a stillness that has a shape." The banned family exactly; the claim under it is real and can be said plainly. Also "nothing in it that answered to him or had ever been meant to" imports an intender nobody has established. Replace: "Nothing. redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted sentence: unpublished prose

27. 75 ¶8 — the knowing-before-he-knew inversion. "found what he had been looking for before he had known he was looking for it". Replace: "found what he was looking for".

28. redacted sentence: unpublished prose Rule 4 wants him plainer here, not the narrator wittier. Keep the committee rooms, cut the coined unit of time.

29. 76 ¶7 — the knees quip. "his knees told him what they thought of the day." Ornament-wit landing on the beat where he apologises for being useless. Replace: "He got up slowly."

Part 3 / 4 — register and character

30. 75 ¶9 — redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose 'That's a tide mark in a cistern.'" then Edwin: "'It's a tide mark,' said Edwin." Four uses of the phrase in three lines; "in a cistern" is a wry closer, i.e. the definitional-plus-verdict shape her file gives to Edwin; and she reaches the figure before the mage who found the mark. Replace her line with "That's a tide mark," and open his with the mechanism: "There's no tide. redacted sentence: unpublished prose

31. 76 ¶4 — "That's the bottom." The definitional "That's X" is named in redacted.md as not hers ("Those are Edwin's"). redacted sentence: unpublished prose There's nothing in it. Say the count.'"

32. 76 ¶3 — three declarative fragments in a row. "said 'Cool. Cool. redacted sentence: unpublished prose

33. redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted sentence: unpublished prose

34. 76 ¶9 — redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose It'll do." Finding is her word (minor.md: "Say it as a finding. redacted sentence: unpublished prose "It'll do" is a two-word verdict button, and epigrams are barred for her. redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted sentence: unpublished prose

35. 75 ¶19 — redacted repeats an instruction she has already carried out, and repeats Edwin's. "'Write it down,' said redacted" comes immediately after Edwin's own "Write it as nothing"; and "redacted, mark the water" comes after redacted has taken the chalk and marked it herself with the date two paragraphs earlier. redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted. redacted sentence: unpublished prose 'The page says the fifth way. redacted sentence: unpublished prose

36. 76 ¶15 — the ending is a composed cadence. "Up. Now. Nobody stops. Nobody looks at anything. redacted sentence: unpublished prose Replace: "'Up,' said redacted, from the front. redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted sentence: unpublished prose

37. 76 ¶1 — the opening announces its own verdict. "and it was the least remarkable room in the hill." Delivered before a word of evidence, and then the paragraph proves it. redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted's "There's nothing in it" says it in the right mouth.

38. 76 ¶5 — a summary of what the reader has just read. "There was a warden's page with three mages on it, and each of them had stood in this room or the one above it and heard something..." redacted said this at the end of 75 in seventeen words. Compress: "He knew what she wanted. redacted sentence: unpublished prose

39. 74 ¶1 / 73 seam — the same fact twice across redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted sentence: unpublished prose

40. redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted was putting up". Good detail, but the first chamber, which redacted has been in four times, has no old chalk on it at all and is being numbered from scratch. redacted sentence: unpublished prose

41. redacted sentence: unpublished prose "Going down and away into the rock" is the shape of a shaft he cannot see the end of, from a lamp held over black water — and he tells redacted four lines later that he cannot settle a simpler question "from one look". redacted sentence: unpublished prose

The device question

Does anything here draw a second round of comments as a device, rather than a line? Two things. First, the negative is the house sentence of these three scenes: "It was not a staircase. redacted sentence: unpublished prose That's water coming up one." / "Not the nothing of a field." / "Not couldn't hear. Nothing." / "That's your knee, not your head." / "There was no treasure... no bones... no pillars, no carving, no light" / "Nobody stops. Nobody looks at anything." A delve whose whole content is an absence will get written in negations unless the drafting fights it; the fix is not rephrasing the instances but deciding, per scene, what the present thing is — the outflowing air, the dish in the floor, the mark on the wall, the dust that takes a bootprint — and letting the nothing be reported once, flat, in Edwin's two "Nothing" speeches, which are the two places it works.

Second, Peri. Across 3,800 words she has four short speeches and one "said nothing at all, which he was grateful for", and her one prop-free marker — the tally of her own asks — never fires. That is precisely the arc-3 flattening peri.md rules out ("late Peri emits short confirmations... redacted sentence: unpublished prose The status exchange in 74 is legible, canon-correct against dungeons.md, and in character; it is also the only thing she does. Either redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose As drafted, the second one is what a reader gets.