I'll start by reading the two scenes and the key reference files.

I've read both scenes, the canon files named, VOICE.md, SCENES.md's act-three list, and the pre-David skill in full. Two notes on method: the mechanical overlap check returns 0 runs of 8+ words for both scenes, and neither scene uses an em dash in the body.

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Part A — Facts and canon

A1. The Wystow bone-setter is given the Fenholt setter's prognosis.
redacted sentence: unpublished prose

redacted sentence: unpublished prose The Wystow man never saw the arm before this morning, so "I said" is false. redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted stayed on longer than he said" — i.e. the unremarked extra fortnight, which is also what puts redacted's rule-in-ink on the page. The draft spends the beat and gets it backwards. Fix: "Whoever splinted this said six weeks. You've had eight in it." / "redacted wrote a date." / "Then redacted was right and he was optimistic. redacted sentence: unpublished prose

A2. The bone-setter's four clauses are dropped, and they are this scene's canon.
edwin.md and healing.md (ch. redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted's book with his name". redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted's later "it's not the man with one and a third" and the auger then have no stated warrant on the page. Fix: give the setter the four figures, and have redacted write them with his name (one sentence), which is also the reason the auger moves.

A3. redacted sentence: unpublished prose The left arm held paper and buckles; it did not write. redacted sentence: unpublished prose

A4. The auger's carrying is settled a scene early — flag as requested. The draft has redacted take it at the bench on the 17th, with Peri putting the mallet in her own pack. redacted sentence: unpublished prose Book 1 ends here.* The draft removes both halves of that beat: the auger question and the mallet. Note that redacted carrying it is canon (redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted sentence Minimum fix: redacted puts it on her own pack without a discussion ("Nothing heavy for a fortnight. It's on mine," and nothing more), Peri does not pre-empt the mallet, and Day 96 keeps its exchange. If the settling is wanted here, it must be ruled as a change to the ending beat.

A5. Ossett's guild sheet does not match canon's sheet.

"what the thing was, in nine lines, what a house could do about it with no mage at all, in the stake protocol's eleven, where to send the count, and the standing arrangement's rate, which was nothing"

redacted sentence: unpublished prose Two further errors inside the draft's version: eleven is the standing arrangement's line-count, not the stake protocol's; and the standing arrangement (a circular item) is not on the guild sheet at all. The omission of the no-harm sentence is the costly one — redacted asked for it twice and got it. redacted sentence: unpublished prose

A6. redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted sentence: unpublished prose Fix: "Fenholt's five months".

A7. "Begun in four years at the least" is both awkward and not canon's claim. silent-soil.md: "began in at least redacted, the earliest two springs ago". The draft's phrasing reads as a duration ("took at least four years"). Fix: "Begun in redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose

A8. redacted sentence: unpublished prose of the seventh. The draft has him say at the door that the assay of salts was the hardest thing he had cast in twenty years, which is a different (and slightly self-congratulatory) claim and loses the point, which is that the new working is the hardest thing he has met in twenty years. redacted sentence: unpublished prose

A9. redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted the 14th" (teaching begins the 13th) both agree with the draft. magic.md's "redacted in a day" is the loose one — it means within a day of the teaching, and should be amended to "on the second morning" to stop the discrepancy recurring. Pick: second morning. redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose

A10. redacted sentence: unpublished prose The draft has redacted walking both plot-14 lines on the 14th and the second young mage walking plot 14's edge on the 15th. Either amend the timeline entry (defensible — the men walk as they get it, and the 16th is the whole-group walk) or move the individual walks to the old pasture and keep plot 14 for the 16th. As drafted it contradicts.

A11. "walked over redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose "second edge" has no referent a reader can hold. Fix: "walked over the edge at the far end of the arc without stopping".

A12. Plot 11's monthly increment is a new fact, not a contradicted one.
redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted sentence: unpublished prose

redacted sentence: unpublished prose The arithmetic works: stakes driven 17 Fal, paced monthly on the 17th, so 17 Salt is one month later and the second pacing. New fact, coherent, wants recording. Two riders: (a) sealed shape only — a rate this slow on thin soil over chalk is consistent with the sealed model's stated constraints, and the tension worth knowing about is that the sealed file lists a grass walk among the things that stop the front, while the draft moves the edge further "out under the walk"; that tension pre-exists in canon (ch. 026 already has the arc running out under the walk) but the new increment sharpens it, so it is worth a line in the sealed file's discrepancy list rather than a change to the scene. (b) "since the first pacing" is right only if there was no 17 Harvestmonth pacing; there wasn't — say "since they were driven" to make it unambiguous.

A13. redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose Add "initialled" or drop nothing; her canon words "That's you back on" are not reused, and the draft's fresh "You're back on" contradicts nothing.

A14. redacted's key is correctly absent ✓ (redacted.md has it at ch. 031, not here), and he is reader of record pacing 14 and 11 on the 17th ✓, all nine stakes A–H, J ✓.

A15. redacted sentence: unpublished prose Ossett's two hundred, the sixteenth, eleven houses that evening ✓. redacted struck phenomenon ✓. The plain statement's other items match item for item ✓, including "unpoisoned to all six" and Peri's "That's not five appearing. That's five being seen." ✓ and nine/nine hundred ✓.

A16. "said so to redacted so that it would be in the register that the college had not bought it." redacted keeps the register of sites (minor.md, institutions.md); there is no purchase register, and a college bursar is not on the page. Minor, but it is the kind of invention Part 3 asks about. Fix: "and said so to redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose

A17. redacted sentence: unpublished prose Edwin predicting half-strength at a fortnight cuts against the clause he has just been given. redacted sentence: unpublished prose

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Part B — Pre-David pass

Part 1 — does it make sense

B1. "The bone-setter's town had a bone-setter, and he took the redacted off" — I cannot restate this flat. Wystow is not "the bone-setter's town"; the construction gestures at a joke that has no content. redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose

redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted sentence: unpublished prose

B3. "He did his thirty" — thirty of what? The drill's canon figures are of twenty and of forty; a bare "thirty" here does a job it cannot do. (Part 1, word doing a job it cannot do.) Fix: "He did his thirty passes".

redacted sentence: unpublished prose with redacted's hook for the far end" — two problems. "Her fifty" is the fate-magic drill's number everywhere else in the book (the fifty guesses, and the fifty hand-openings this scene ends on), so it reads as the wrong drill; and "redacted's hook for the far end" leaves the reader to work out that the hook is the target. redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted's boat-hook set up in the grass".

B5. "the seventeenth being the seventeenth and the seventeenth being the pacing day" — the first clause is empty and the repetition is a rhetorical figure standing where a fact should be. redacted sentence: unpublished prose

redacted sentence: unpublished prose See A1 for the replacement, which also fixes this.

B7. "Write that under it, in your words. And then write mine under yours, which is that nine is possible and so is nine hundred" — three nested layers of writing-under, and Edwin dictating his own words to be written under hers is a knot. (Part 1, two restatements and I cannot choose.) Fix in B12.

Part 2 / Part 5 — devices

B8. The writing motif is over budget, and 113's ending repeats 111's ending almost verbatim. SCENES act-three binding: "No scene ends on writing more than one in three." 111 ends "Write that under it, both of you."; 112 ends on Peri writing the rim road and not writing the box; 113 ends "Write that under it, in your words." That is three consecutive scene endings on writing and the same six-word imperative twice in three scenes. Ruling: 113's ending must change. 114's ending (Edwin counting hand-openings) is not a writing ending and is clean — it lands on an act, it is the book's smallest possible instrument, and it echoes Peri's hand at the Blackrow correctly. Keep 114 exactly as it is.

B9. redacted sentence: unpublished prose the sheet will say which on the day somebody counts." (ii) is canon's own beat (ch. 030) and earns its place; (iii) is canon's line. Cut (i): it is the most portable and least load-bearing, and it converts a plain teaching act into a maxim. redacted sentence: unpublished prose

B10. redacted's "A hall doesn't post that word. It posts a rate and a date." This is a maxim, in two balanced halves, on a general subject — precisely what redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose Canon's own line for the same beat is concrete and specific — a count of sheets she has read and what she did with the best two. The draft's fresh words are not the problem; the shape is. redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted sentence: unpublished prose

B11. redacted's "The order has never once asked a man what to call him. It calls him." Balanced two-part epigram with an inversion — Edwin's shape in a Fellow's mouth, and it is the scene's button. redacted's canon register is relish and specificity (he delights in the prospectus line, he reports the adoption "with considerable enjoyment"). redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted. "The order doesn't ask. redacted sentence: unpublished prose

B12. 113's last paragraph is a resolving button. "and the sheet will say which on the day somebody counts" flashes forward and closes with a bow; VOICE §2 names the resolving button as the one thing to avoid. Combined with B7 and B8. Proposed ending, which keeps Peri's canon line, keeps Edwin's nine/nine-hundred, and ends on the plain fact:

redacted sentence: unpublished prose

redacted sentence: unpublished prose "That's five being seen."

redacted sentence: unpublished prose "It might be nine. It might be nine hundred. redacted sentence: unpublished prose

B13. The five-mage roster is a counted template. "Five: redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted given nothing and the fifth man given nothing. SCENES binding for this act: each new adult "gets a sentence-shape of their own before a habit." (Part 5, recitation that should be construction.) Fix: break into three sentences and let two of them carry an act rather than a description — the salts man saying his line at the door, the western-village one mentioning the parish course. redacted needs no gloss; he needs to be doing something (he lent the room; put him in it).

B14. Two canon-quoted groundwork phrases are reused verbatim or near-verbatim. VOICE §3: a canon entry that quotes a groundwork line "is a fact about what happened, never a line to reuse."

• "which redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose Fix: "which redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose
  redacted sentence: unpublished prose
  redacted sentence: unpublished prose

B15. The plain statement as a list of fragments: ruled fine. It is the scene's business, not a device — the words on a printed circular's head, quoted, and canon's own list is in exactly this form ("five places; four soils; three counties"). Two conditions: fix A6 and A7 inside it, and give it one clause of lead-in that makes clear the reader is reading the page and not the narrator ("and what he wrote was this:" or equivalent), because as it stands the descending 5-4-3 arrives in narration and reads as authorial cadence rather than as a document.

B16. The six resolutions as six fragments: ruled fine — redacted is reading them aloud from a paper, standing, so the form is the thing being read.

Openings

B17. 113's opening on redacted's question: fine.** It opens on an act, mid-event, Edwin first, and the act is the book's subject (a man being asked the right question about a price). It satisfies the act-three ban on NAME + verb + TIME + trailer. No finding.

B18. 114's opening: a finding, per B1 — not because it opens on the setter's line, which is the right event, but because the first clause is a gesture. Fixed text above keeps the setter and drops the joke.

because density

**B19. Five in 113, six in 114 — SCENES binding says "because rationed". redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted sentence: unpublished prose

Character

B20. redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose Her tagging it does not fully rescue it, and it is doing the work the auger beat should do by action. With A4's fix this line goes anyway.

B21. Peri pre-empting the mallet ("put the mallet in her own pack instead, without asking, and redacted saw her do it and said, 'That'll do.'") — good beat in isolation, wrong place; it spends Day 96. See A4.

Viewpoint, sense, clocks

B22. 113's viewpoint is sound. Edwin is out on the plots and cannot see the vote; redacted brings the resolutions down and reads them; the quarter of an hour is reported, not witnessed. Correct handling, no finding.

B23. 114's pacing paragraph has a viewpoint gap. "and redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted's silence and its reason from inside redacted. Either put Edwin at the stakes (he has been paced out there all week, so this is cheap) or attribute: "redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted line and he has earned one.

B24. "one and a third" arms: ruled fine. The narration asserts the figure one sentence before Edwin derives it from a buckle, and the derivation is exact ("A third of what." "Of what it did before. On a buckle."). It is a figure per-something attached to a method, which is edwin.md §3's own definition of his numbers. No finding except A17's fortnight.

B25. Clocks and dates check out. 13th teaching begins; redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted the 15th; guild sheet the 15th; printed the 16th, post-bag that evening; the vote the 16th in the rain; the statement written that night; the 17th redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted; redacted in four days (17th → 21st ✓). Rain on the 16th carried into the 17th's "rain's leavings" ✓.

B26. Dialect: clean. No "I'll not", no "wants doing", no nonstandard verb forms, no "nought" (the statement says "Number unknown"). Plain modern English throughout both scenes.

Second-round device question (required by the skill): the device a second round of comments would be about is the writing motif — 111, 112 and 113 all end with something being written, not written, or dictated, and 113 repeats 111's imperative word for word. Making it work means letting only one scene in three close there; B12 removes 113 from the run and 114 already stands clear of it.

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New facts

Recorded here, not written to canon (I edited nothing):

1. redacted sentence: unpublished prose Belongs in silent-soil.md under the Wystow block, and in the second circular. Wants a line in the sealed file's discrepancy list for the grass-walk question (shape only: the new increment is coherent with the sealed model's thin-soil case and sharpens an existing tension with one of its stopping conditions).
2. redacted sentence: unpublished prose
3. redacted sentence: unpublished prose
4. The salts man's page was copied by redacted for the note — new, plausible, and consistent with redacted's role.
5. Edwin wrote to the principal asking to be excused the vote, in the terms canon already has him using about committees — new only as a mechanism (canon has the answers in writing and the excusal by his own choice).
6. magic.md wants amending: "redacted in a day" → "on the second morning", to agree with minor.md and the timeline.
7. redacted sentence: unpublished prose