Run the pre-David pass exactly as specified in [redacted]/.claude/ski…

I'll start by reading the skill and all the context files.

I read the skill in full, VOICE.md, SCENES.md's act-three binding list, edwin.md/peri.md/redacted.md/redacted.md/minor.md (redacted, redacted, Ossett, the four signatories), world/geography.md (the redacted ruling) and world/timeline.md Days 61–63, plus scene 99 unpublished. Note: there is no scene 100 unpublished on disk — scenes/ ends at 99-seventy-miles-in-eleven-days.md unpublished, so 101 and 102 currently follow 99 directly and the field-office/sending-book material the SCENES table assigns to 100 has not been written. Several findings below turn on that gap. I edited nothing.

Part 1 — sense, counts, facts

1. 101: "the slip redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose Fault: invented dependent of an edited fact. Fix: cut "and had told him not to read".

2. redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted sentence: unpublished prose

3. redacted sentence: unpublished prose The words she added unasked are of this college: three. Fix: "three words" in both places.

4. 101: "he had learned in six weeks that Peri's shut the same way" — count. This is Day 62 (16 Fallowmonth); Peri arrived Day 1. Nine weeks, not six. Fix: "in nine weeks".

5. 101, redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted's six, Ossett's hall) fall between Day 50 and Day 62; she came onto the road on 4 Fallowmonth. Fix: "That's four houses in a fortnight".

6. 102: the clock does not close. "at seven in the morning" … "Sixty-one cuts, nine stakes, four hours" … "redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose Seven to one is six hours, and the noon paragraph sits after the end-of-work paragraph. redacted sentence: unpublished prose

7. 102: "You said at the gate you were going to put your hand on it first. Before the spade. redacted sentence: unpublished prose Also "You walked here to." is a sentence ending on a stranded "to" with no plausible completion (Part 1, interrupted line). redacted sentence: unpublished prose Before the spade. redacted sentence: unpublished prose

8. redacted sentence: unpublished prose Fix: "A to H and then J. redacted sentence: unpublished prose

9. redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose

10. 102: "a sheet with three hands on it" — inconsistent with the paragraph that establishes the arrangement: redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose The sheet has one hand; the three hands are spread across three books. redacted sentence: unpublished prose

11. 102: by what authority is the rope off? "with the rope off the road gate and redacted's key in the fence" — 99 put a board on that rope reading *Trials suspended. No entry until the inquiry is done. redacted sentence: unpublished prose A cause left out; the reader asks it on the first line. Fix: a clause on redacted's key — "with redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose

12. redacted sentence: unpublished prose Fix: "came in at the ordinary numbers".

13. 101: "a soils Fellow of about a hundred and forty" — viewpoint knowledge. Edwin has never met redacted; the number arrives from nowhere on a first look ("does Edwin know this?"). Fix: cut the age from the narration — redacted's own "since I was ninety" plus "fifty years" already places him. redacted sentence: unpublished prose

14. 101 (low): redacted "has been in the fellows' passage since two" on the 15th (scene 99 unpublished), yet first meets Edwin at noon on the 16th having spent that morning showing Peri round. Not a contradiction, but a reader will ask what happened to the passage. One clause in redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose

Part 2 — gestures at meaning, announcing fragments, buttons

15. 102 opening: "Sixty-one censuses." — the announcing fragment, exactly the "Fate magic. She was wearing fate magic." case: it tells the reader the result before the method and then tells it again in the body ("Sixty-one cuts, nine stakes"). It also breaks the act-three binding line "start on an event, an object, or a line of speech". redacted sentence: unpublished prose

16. redacted sentence: unpublished prose It is also the second of the two scenes to end on writing. redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose

17. redacted sentence: unpublished prose Fix: cut "which was the method."

18. 102: "one at a time, the way a committee leaves a room it has decided not to sit in" — a figure doing what the plain fact does better, and oblique at the point of the joke ("a room it has decided not to sit in" needs unpacking). redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted off. 101 has none, correctly.

19. redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose 025. VOICE §3 is explicit that a canon entry quoting a groundwork line is a fact, never a line to reuse. redacted sentence: unpublished prose

20. redacted sentence: unpublished prose It is minor.md's quoted groundwork phrase for redacted, reused here on a different man; and it is an unnamed manner, which Part 6 rules is not a description. redacted sentence: unpublished prose

21. 101: "he had learned from redacted what a shut door sounded like and had learned in six weeks that Peri's shut the same way"** — **your question answered: "she had shut it" is the right amount and should stay; the redacted comparison is the overspend. A door that "sounds shut" and a person shutting "the same way" is a figure the reader cannot hold, and it spends a redacted comparison on a Peri beat. redacted sentence: unpublished prose He asked the numbers back instead."

22. 101: "which put him between two women with books on a college's front step in front of a square" — a narrator flourish noticing a tableau with no proposition under it; "in front of a square" is dead. Fix: cut the clause — "redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose

23. 101: "said, 'Thank you,' because it was the only thing" — a reason that names nothing. Fix: "because there was no other answer to it" or cut the clause.

Part 3 / Part 4 — world, character, register

24. 101, redacted: "and I'm entering it that way, as four, because that's what a warden on a road is for, and I didn't know that until I'd done it."** — **Your question: no, this tail is not hers. redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose This line is both at once, plus a self-summary she does not do. redacted sentence: unpublished prose Fix: "and I'm entering it that way, as four. redacted sentence: unpublished prose

25. 101: redacted's single 160-word turn.** **Your question: monologue device, not his shape. minor.md gives him delight, speed and a hat, not a set-piece; what is on the page is a recitation delivering the prospectus line plus seven honours strung on "and" — the "it is the core joke of this interaction, but it would flow better as a conversation" case, with the "Item:" tic's structure in and-form. Peri is standing right there and has already prompted once, so the device has a working version. Fix: break it across three turns with Peri prompting twice — redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose

26. Clipped "have" (Peri and redacted, four instances): "and I've the numbers" (101), "They've redacted redacted sentence: unpublished prose The auxiliary-less "I've the X" is the same family as the retired "I'll not"/"wants doing": syntax standing in for local flavour. Fix: "and I've got the numbers"; "They have redacted's copy"; "I have the edge".

27. 101, Peri's redacted beat: "'No.' She did not write anything. 'I've said no. That's what I said.'" — the second and third sentences restate the first and answer nothing; this is precisely the act-two failure mode (a question answered with a fragment that gestures). Canon (peri.md, 2026-08-28) rules the "No" a lie and rules that it stays one, so the beat must hold the lie while still parsing. Fix: "'No,' she said. She did not write anything. redacted sentence: unpublished prose

28. redacted sentence: unpublished prose redacted sentence: unpublished prose

Part 5 — devices

29. The "write it down" instruction fires three times in 102 — "Write so far" (Peri to the second-year), "Write appeared to" (Edwin to Peri), "writing that the hand disagreed" (Peri, narrated). The third is narration and fine; of the two instructions, Edwin's is redundant: Peri has already said "Appeared to," aloud, in her own practice, so being told to write it takes the move off her. redacted sentence: unpublished prose

30. because density. 101: five in 1,077 words; 102: seven in 1,183 — against SCENES' "because rationed" for this act. Findings 8, 9, 17 and 23 remove four between them; that is enough.

Two lines on the devices

The device a second round of comments would be about is the and-chained run-on sentence, which is now doing every job in both scenes: redacted's speech, Peri's report, redacted's report, the stake paragraph and the closing slip paragraph are the same shape, so three distinct speakers and the narrator read as one voice, and the shape's own effect (accumulation) has stopped registering. To make it work, cap it: one such sentence per speaker per scene, with the others broken at their natural joints — redacted's report in particular gains from her canonical short mode, which is currently absent from both scenes.

The second is contamination: findings 19 and 20 are verbatim reuse of phrases minor.md quotes from the deleted ch. 025, and several other beats in these two scenes sit very close to canon's summaries of chs. redacted sentence: unpublished prose Moss, of this college*). The facts are canon and are right to be here; the wordings should be re-made. I could not run tools/overlap_check.py (it reads the deleted prose from git history, which is inside my read ban) — the main session should run it on both files before these go to DRMacIver.